so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
