i don't like sucking hair
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
