..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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