Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
