Non-Jews are for practice
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
