what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Text me some of your sweat
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
