gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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