Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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