that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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