Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This is not my ceiling
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize