suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
