I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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