We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize