dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We had sex on a dog bed..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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