god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
