I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize