we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How does one acquire holy water?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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