The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
