i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
