Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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