We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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