party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
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This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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