just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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