Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
