he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
