Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
