I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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