he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
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The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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