is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
