your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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