That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
