I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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