I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
