got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
