yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
