I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize