Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's get the cat blown out
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
