ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
