It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
