That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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