No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
3pm strippers are depressing
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
