I cockslap morals
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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