sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
