Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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