Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
