i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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