I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
