Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
