She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
