I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
