That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
