office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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