I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
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I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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