you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
