Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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