1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
