i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam