she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.