He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.