you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
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he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
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on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right