Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
