I wish I could punch you in the face.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.